"The more absurd a public figure becomes, the more reverence they seem to demand."
— George Orwell (paraphrased from various writings)Netanyahu nominates Trump for Nobel peace prize, touts 'free choice' of Gaza relocation
🏆 Top 10 Awards Trump Deserves More Than the Nobel Peace Prize
Because handing a peace prize to a man who tried to buy Greenland, hugged Kim Jong-un like a plush toy, and nearly nuked a hurricane sounds less like diplomacy and more like a deleted scene from Idiocracy.
🥇 1. The Nobel Gaslight Prize
For outstanding achievements in making half the country believe a deadly virus would "just disappear like a miracle"—while hoarding hydroxychloroquine like it was Pokémon cards.
🥈 2. The Golden Golf Cart of Courage
Honoring Trump’s brave service in dodging five Vietnam drafts and bravely battling the fairways of Mar-a-Lago during every national crisis.
🥉 3. The International Order of Covfefe
Given to heads of state who invent new languages in the middle of the night, tweet them at 3 AM, and still expect a standing ovation from NATO.
🏅 4. The Peacefully Incited Insurrection Participation Trophy
For those special leaders who believe in peaceful transitions of power—just not when it involves losing, democracy, or reality.
🎖 5. The Alternative Facts Lifetime Achievement Award
Brought to you by the Ministry of Truth, for making 30,573 false or misleading claims and still being cheered like a NASCAR winner by people with “Don’t Tread on Me” flags.
🦴 6. The Bone Spur Purple Heart
Awarded for extreme bravery shown while avoiding all physical activity not involving golf, golf carts, or lifting Big Macs to the face.
🛢 7. The ExxonMobil Earth Endangerment Medal
For rolling back 100+ environmental protections and drilling holes in the planet like it owed him rent.
💅 8. The Self-Pardon Beauty Pageant Crown
For the man who once said, "I could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue..." and then tried to appoint himself judge, jury, and Miss Universe.
🎩 9. The Putin’s Favorite Puppet Prize
Hand-stitched in the Kremlin and presented for services rendered in global destabilization, NATO weakening, and suspicious eye contact over caviar.
🐘 10. The MAGA Mythmaking Medal of Merit
Awarded posthumously to truth, ethics, and critical thinking—buried somewhere beneath a red hat and a wall that Mexico still hasn’t paid for.
Bonus Award 🎤:
“You’re Fired” Lifetime Irony Achievement
For the man who turned “You’re fired!” into a catchphrase and then couldn’t accept being voted out by 81 million people.
Sincerely,
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