Switzerland: Debt Crisis? War? Only Dada Can Save You Now.
⚠️ Public Health Warning: Reading this post may harm your mental stability. For side effects, consult your doctor, pharmacist—or your local performance artist.
The Train Has No Brakes. And the Driver Is Dead.
Ever get that feeling that you’re strapped into a runaway train, no brakes, the driver flatlined from a heart attack, and the AI autopilot is chanting YOLO? Welcome to 2025, sweetheart.
You can’t jump off. You can’t close your eyes and pretend the conductor didn’t just announce:
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching Final Catastrophe Station.”
The World This Week in Doom
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War in Europe? Check.
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Debt crisis looming? Flashing like a Vegas casino sign.
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Arms race? Not a race—more like a demolition derby with nukes.
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Autocrats? One hairy guy is renaming the Pentagon to the Ministry of War (because why bother with euphemisms anymore).
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China? Xi is building a New World Order with his Moscow and Pyongyang bros and making sure you know: resistance is futile.
This week Xi Jinping dropped this metal-as-hell line:
“Once again, humanity must choose between war and peace, between cooperation and a zero-sum game.”
Translation: Pick peace, lose. Pick war, lose faster.
Then he promised anyone invading China would bleed out on the Great Wall of Iron. Slayer called—they want their album title back.
Was Switzerland’s own Ueli Maurer sweating bullets at the Beijing parade? Not recorded. But if sabers could rattle any louder, the Swiss Alps would avalanche.
For the Doom Junkies
Whispers of World War III? Check. Finale featuring USA vs. China? Check.
EU Foreign Policy Chief Kaja Kallas even gave us an Armageddon date:
Russia could attack the EU by 2028.
Circle it in your calendar—right next to your kid’s graduation and your last mortgage payment.
And as if global war isn’t spicy enough, hedge fund legend Ray Dalio now predicts:
“A global sovereign debt crisis will hit in three years.”
Translation: if the nukes don’t get you, the repo man will.
So, What Do You Do?
Feeling hopeless? Good. Here are your three options:
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Do drugs. (Reminder: fentanyl kills faster than a Russian hypersonic missile.)
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Laugh hysterically. (Until you choke on the news from Taiwan.)
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Embrace the absurd.
I vote #3—because it worked before.
Flashback: 1916. Zurich.
World War I was turning Europe into a mass grave. Nationalism was a death cult. Empires were imploding like bad startups. So what did a bunch of Swiss-based misfits do?
They invented Dada—a giant middle finger to logic, order, and every pompous bastard running civilization into the ground. They turned chaos into art, nonsense into protest, mockery into survival.
And now?
It’s Dada O’Clock again.
The Neo-Dada Survival Manifesto
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Glue feathers to your suit.
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Recite gibberish at corporate meetings.
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Draw faces on your gas mask.
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Start flash mobs reading stock market data like erotic poetry.
Because if this train is going to hell, you might as well dance in the dining car while it burns.
Join the Neo-Dada Survival Movement →
We’re building a global network of absurdists, pranksters, and culture saboteurs who refuse to go quietly.
Why? Because despair is obedience. And obedience is boring.
Dada Is the New Prepper
Forget bunkers and bug-out bags. We’ll arm you with:
✅ Dada Survival Kits (art supplies, glue, feathers, irony)
✅ Neo-Dada Protest Templates
✅ Workplace Disruption Guides (Yes, you can stage a Dada intervention in your Zoom call)
Click here to download your first free guide:
👉 “101 Ways to Sabotage the Apocalypse With Art”
Because When the End Comes…
The elites will be hiding in their New Zealand bunkers, eating canned caviar. The rest of us? We’ll be laughing so hard the universe won’t know what hit it.
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